Day 8 The pain makes the medicine useless I panicked and cried and couldn't get out of bed I didn't tell Nou how bad it was She went to a protest, then shopping, then to a queer club and danced And I felt so alone and so bitter Maybe I'm an idiot She tries to message and call And she's paying for my therapy But of course she gets tired and bored She pretends she doesn't But it's a painful lie Baba didn't remember my birthday He's scared about his nose and the cancer So I didn't say anything and I was too anxious to sit with them anyway I went downstairs to the house to get iron medicine Cousin Aly and the Cat were there I walked in got the medicine and got out like I was invisible Which was relieving but also hurt Cat texted me I told her I'm in pain and I can't sit with them I told her I couldn't even get out of bed for my birthday I told her I don't want to complain about cramps when babas sick She told Baba and he felt guilty and sent a text Im alone again Nou is asleep She has a stomach ache She let me call to keep the phone on while she slept but it hurt too much I'm really tired I'm trying to be happy but I'm tired And I feel alone I will try to text Emma, Mou and Saf, Maru and Beebo I don't think I can lean on Nou anymore |