Moving Maru chan is moving to the coast by February (insha'Allah) His landlady twisted his arm Not many people move up north permanently but he has no other option And I think I put the idea into his head when I was dragging my feet last summer and toying with moving their myself I'm currently in the interviewing process for two different online teaching positions If I can land a remote gig, l've decided I'll be joining him I never really wanted to come back to Cairo It's a miserable place and there's nothing for me here The rich areas are decadent and even if I wanted to hang out in malls all day, which I don't -- I couldn't afford it When I compare it to the muddy back streets where people are living in a completely different historical age, it makes me want to puke The few friends I do have are across the city and rarely come out, it's so hard for schedules to sync Maru as my neighbor is basically my family in Cairo And of course there's Tante Z who runs off to Ain Sokhna and the coast all the time anyway Tante S (the psychic mama of witchy K) called me at a strange time and sent me photos of the beach Which at this point just feels like some kind of divine green light Sea granny was always the plan Maru chan as my neighbor Herb gardens Brunches every day with music Barbecue once a week Fishing/tanning Swim swim swimmiiiing Maru and his sister were on the national team as kids! My fishy brother He also has a catering scheme we want to try with the coastal foodies (my sea grannies are going to adore him/try to set him up with their daughters) It could really be amazing But I'm not idealizing things I know that even if my father and brother don't actively try to stop me, they'll be annoying in a thousand other passive aggressive ways And if I do manage it and they see I'm happy, I'm sure they'll try to muscle their way in At which point I can move to Maru's extra room It's going to be a challenge, the back and forth trips will be exhausting Im glad I'm doing this drive in the winter, I don't really trust my Mitsubishi Figuring out how to set everything up when the village is dead/off season (thankfully I have Alexandrian sea grannies to ask and Maru chan as the obligatory male chaperone for more sketchy situations) I cried a lot these past few months Gaza, Kojak, work being so bleak, family being horribe, flinging myself out of my uncomfy comfort zone I've learned that life is fragile as fuck And that I missed out on a lot, A LOT But I'm sort of glad I did, I needed to be a potato I needed that time to learn how to articulate everything, to myself and to others My position in the family, in the world How and why I feel the way I do Boundaries Are so so so important And now that I have my feet more or less back on the ground And now that I'm not the emotional equivalent of a limp rag doll in a tornado all the time And now that I've accepted waiting to be happy is a terrible idea I'm ready to face this one last fear I'm terrified but I'm excited It feels right It feels like Priscilla, Queen of the desert But with more cosplay, less drag, and Egyptian geeks and the sea :) |