Calm before the storm They're all showing up in the evening. Hassan first probably. Aly likes to drive past midnight for some bizarre reason. I went down to get a quick hug from tante Z since she's leaving tomorrow morning She did her signature patting the couch move and I was glad to have brought down my mug of tea She's upset with Riri and Leedo (Riri's older brother) So, Riri's moving Their apartments were right next to each other Tante Z did a lot of free childcare Riri calls and says, "Leedo and I have decided you're moving into a place in the compound and he's going to cover the rent for you" It's 20K pounds which isn't as frightening in dollars but it's still ouch here, our salaries have not caught up with the inflated prices. And Z knows that eventually she'd be saddled with it. She felt like they were treating her like a doddering senile bag of dust She can be slightly overbearing sometimes, she's high-maintenance emotionally BUT She's incredibly independent and very sharp And it's not hard to squish her and give her some time because she's actually fun-- and that's coming from autistic 'stay the fuck away from me' me I think out of everybody, I relate to her the most She was raised by my baba, my uncle Saeed who was an even scarier version of my baba and my uncle Mohamed who was like the mean stepsister who was secretly nice when the others weren't around but fully joined in on the bullying most of the time I can't believe she came out of that with so much lust for life I deeply, deeply respect her And not asking someone if they want to move or where they want to move is fucked up They also keep her out of the loop but then make a big show of caring around other people I told her they remind me of my siblings They didn't want to tell me about my half sister But they demand I send them updates about baba and expect me to comfort whichever person's in crisis Never me, I'm not allowed to be in crisis of course The funny thing is, they expect me to deal with my half sister too now I told Tante Z that I think people are selfish when they think it's about survival And the emotionally healthy one, who expresses things and feels things and confronts things gets stuck with the "black sheep" label She said, "They're acting like they're doing me a favor" She decided she's staying at her old place in Heliopolis I'll make sure to see her a lot. I should really go to the club and use the free Wifi. Everybody else uses it as a workspace. Once I fix my laptop, it'll be my new routine. Tante Z, walk around in the green, work in the library, lunch in the club restaurant, figure out the swimming hours OO I can get my hair done sometimes Meet a well-connected club guy, resist marriage like the plague, which will only make me more appealing to well-connected club guy Realize we knew each other as kids in the club playground Find out well-connected club guy's dark secret and have lots of fancy people "we mustn't" sex Realize well-connected club guy's actually kind of cool and my friend now Get married IN THE MOST CLICHED WAY after eeeeeverything because irony is fun I think tante Z would scream and cry tears of joy if I married a club guy And baba If club guy is eloquent, queer/has queer friends, dances, doesn't want kids and takes me fishing, I'm open to it I always wanted to skip to granny life I wrote about being a granny, I hang out with sea grannies, I crochet and knit in a rocking chair, I cried over/dance to Jimmy Buffett I'm gonna miss Tante and the summer It's still hot here, we shouldn't have to go back until it's cold :( I'm so nervous about the cousins and the brother I cleaned up I think I'm putting off doing this script so I have an excuse to be left in peace I took an extra long shower to celebrate the bathroom Eek Heart feels eek eek eek |