24 primping and preening they renovated the bank interior it was interesting for about 5 minutes then the blue office lights seep into your brain and the robot tannoy woman, I think she's been around since the 80s dear valued customers... and then customer. number. seven. hundred. and. three. window. number. nine. this is maybe why we don't have so many serial killers in Egypt they don't need to bother just go to the bank and watch the life drain out of everyone's eyes I was too tired to see Maru I decided I'd treat myself I got a rainbow light up bluetooth speaker, because I wanted mine to be gayer than Maru's And then the retail high kind of got away from me I drove to the fancy salon It was an odd sadomasochism I couldn't relax because of their aggressive upselling but they were also aggressively pampering me like they gave me this luscious, deep, borderline orgasmic scalp massage and then when my mouth was at its spittiest, he goes 'and miss will do the creme hamam, yes?' yes, WHAT, NO 'as miss wishes' * aggressive rubbing * 'just the blow out then' MmmmmNO, no, no I'm going up North, so you see it'll all be lost in the water anyway No styling, just the dye please, thank you 'Of course miss, it is time for the manicure' I fucked up with the nails It was new territory, I've never done gel before I managed to stop the pedicure but I ended up paying 4 times more than I budgeted I dont know how to say no to pretty women She was gorgeous-- flawless and heavily heavily pregnant, which just felt like an optical illusion I was disoriented okay Plus she perked up when she heard that I write and told me the most insane story A mad psychologist, incest, pornography, unethical social experiments 'habibty, based on true events WALLAH' Apparently her friend's shopping the script around And when I looked down, I got these long shimmery nails that I don't understand I can't finger anyone for a while I guess 'Don't worry habibty you'll still be able to' Excuse me?! 'Play guitar, they won't break I promise' Oh. Yes. Yessss. I feel pretty and defeated And it's mercilessly hot I cant wait to go back to the village after tomorrow Where IM GOING ON A DATE DAMMIT I want to use these nails on cute phone guy's back He sounds conservative though His name is reeeally conservative which just plays into my fantasy even more Did he say 'our villa' like I'm in good financial standing, allow me to wife you Or did he say I'm going to take you several times on the walls and every other surface of 'our villa' Horny eyes, conservative name I miss good sex I need to remember how to be slutty But also not get kidnapped into lairs and almost murdered Slutty, clear exit strategy at all times Relax but don't relax Salon sadomasochism |