wee hours, 23 Cant sleep WiFi is too stimulating Cairo is too hot Maru might be coming up North! I'll try to see him after bank stuff tomorrow I wonder what he'll say when he sees me He knows me from our socialite days He's seen very old Sarah iterations Not the oldest iterations in Egypt Only Mou's seen those Bespectacled dorky teen Sarah Hair and shoes magazine staff, shiny vapid eyes Sarah 'Progressive' hijabi with thick eyeliner, book clubs and conferences and lectures and very hot guilty sex Sarah Boy hair and stripes and ankles, art house films, galleries, theatres, concerts and protests Sarah-- AND young model/flight crew Maru who was terrified of bread HA Then finally tired teacher, cardigans and messy buns, cats and a bag of knitting/crochet, shisha and movie nights with bitter bitter bitter people Sarah Now I feel myself morphing out of cat lady The aesthetic choices are bolder I'm not melting into the wall I'm getting objectified Some people even found me intimidating Until I spoke, and then there was visible relief Unacceptable I need to practice sounding like a bitch Tante Z is somewhere between terrifying and charming Her daughter, cousine R is more on the charming side of the spectrum but she knows how to be menacing too I'm mostly soft spoken Some goofy voices And when I'm mad, I rant and/or cry which doesn't work here because people don't want to be reasoned with and generally couldn't care less if you dropped dead I do have a pretty good death stare When I lived downtown I formed a don't fuck with me face Cat lady Sarah was invisible and didn't need it so much I wonder what this Sarah will be Post therapy, yoga, cougar years Sarah Eccentric middle aged ghostwriter with good boobs Sarah Summer samba soundtrack Sarah |