A guide to surviving PMSy loved one/Hope
-If forced to speak, say cutesy pukey things eg, 'I desperately hysterically want to cuddle', 'you're breathtakingly ball swellingly beautiful and yet incredibly intelligent and funny and kind and creative and down to earth', 'I would battle ninjas for your honor' -Address all crazy concerns calmly, while reminding yourself that the person in front of you is an inflamed uterus of neediness and will forget everything she said the second she puts nutella in her mouth -Feed it nutella (or whatever chocolate it lusts after) -If physically present, hug her. This has a twofold purpose: it temporarily pacifies the creature and also restrains it from possibly throwing plates...at your face -When Mephistopheles seems sedated, run...run as far as you can as fast as you can and don't you dare look back -Remember that there's someone you care about under the hot acid bitch force field and in a few days she will surface again (unless you're an asshole who timed your relationship shittiness poorly/perfectly, in which case just be grateful you're still breathing) --- I want it to be Saturday every day :( And I promise to be good on sevenths and twenty sevenths I'm sorry I'm a crumply weepy bag of hormones I'm so glad K and I have synced egg sacs :D Besides leaking, I look forward to T finishing his exams And meeting my tiny Sophia :) And the trip, where if I can help it floating, tanning and mango sipping will happen simultaneously And making pretty sounds And stupid movie night (it's like karaoke, the crappier the movie the better) |