different lovelife recap love is not synonymous to attention, but the perception of love/being loved--at times-- is exactly that. the human capacity to love is infinite. the human capacity to give attention is not. and thats why i love sara so much, she understands that. i suppose everyone understands it but we still dont apply it to our relationships. i call her 'fresh' because the way she lives, the spirit that she puts into every action is just beautiful and different. it's refreshing. i didn't understand what it meant to be 'giving', not until i met sara. she helps people, for nothing, truly for nothing. "usually i know what everyone wants, even if they dont, with you i dont" but she still helps, i didnt even ask, she doesnt even know HOW to help but she's there --------------------------------------- i always thought that to some extent, i'd be alone, forever. i mean who could possibly understand growing up in the gulf? who could understand what it's like to live a battle against your own head? and even if they did understand, who would care? "you hate me don't you?" that's how it started between noni and i "WHAT?! why would you think i hate you? if anything YOU hate me!" crazy attracts crazy no matter how unlikely the odds "i dont hate you!" and we discovered we loved each other, a lot, maybe a bit too much :) i dont know what uni will be like without noni, but my life will definately be emptier. --------------------------------------- i think i'd just finished up with my sixth or seventh suicide attempt and i was on the floor of my bedroom alone i didnt know what to do or who to call i didnt want to burden anyone so i called a stranger :) and he listened to my sniffling sobbing incomprehensible drivel and he told me to 'let go' and at first i didnt, but eventually i did and now i believe that not all guys are assholes and some guys really CAN be good friends thanks mou :) --------------------------------------- |