safe warm and cozy Mama wouldn't want me to cry She wanted us to be fierce And confident And happy She didn't always help us be those things but it's what she wanted For herself too She always said fight FIGHT IT SARAH My sister likes the name Wild now I like the sea Hassan likes cold wind I'm swollen and sad Everything is so heavy The job is strange, I hear all of humanity The kindest people, the nastiest people, people who sound so defeated It's good for me I think Not forever but maybe a few more months The camp kid, my friend B He reminds me of myself when I was younger We've gotten pretty close I worry about his liver and his nose I think he appreciates the worry We're going to the company gym and encouraging each other to get fit And we've decided he's taking me to get my first tattoo, he has a bunch already This generation is used to the apocalypse hanging over them When the generators turned on Friday night, they made this awful sickening sound I could feel it when I waited for the bus outside, the rumble turned my stomach The sign on the hotel next door flickered It's a chain owned by the military Everything's military It's why we're doing so WELL Nora said when she first heard the sound she thought it was the end -- I said me tooooo and we grabbed hands and laughed It's too early to be burned out right? It's everything else that's going on too All my mechanisms are back My Ozzy stim is annoying me The thing I was scared of the most-- cramps at work, it was actually okay I got to cry, supervisor gave me a small crying break Nora has endo too, when she saw me tear up she said OOP IT'S HAPPENING! IT'S HAPPENIIING I laughed through my sobs, she laughed because we switched places like I told her we would It makes my heart squish-- making friends in this way again I miss Maru a lot but I know he's proud of me Emma asked me out but I told her I was a mess She understood Mattie too I don't want them to understand I don't want everyone to feel like this And for the world to be like this One day I'm going to have a party, with lots of yummy East Asian dishes Karaoke Fairy lights Tipsy dancing A hammock on the balcony Lots of snuggly pillows All my favorite people under one roof I'll chat about my plants Oo I'll send them home with plants The ones who don't want to sleep over It'll be great I'm going to build a home A safe warm cozy bubble |