On being autistic. being well (inside) is not masking not masking leads to (outside) discomfort and rejection and even danger which makes us unwell (inside plus outside) masking well is interpreted as good communication skills (unwell inside well outside) you can't be unwell! so I don't believe you're unwell why are you acting like that? she's unwell let's help her be well I put on my mask you communicate so well! you can't be unwell I don't believe you're unwell why are you acting like that? let's help her be well over and over and over and over JUST YOU FUCKING BE UNCOMFORTABLE, PLEASE JUST SIT IN YOUR DISCOMFORT FOR ONCE AND SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP FUCKING HELPING AND STOP BEING SO WOUNDED WHEN I DONT WANT IT AND JUST ENTERTAIN THE FUCKING POSSIBILITY THAT ACTUALLY ACTUALLY SOCIETY, SOCIAL NORMS, YOUR HAPPY DESENSITISATION -- THAT'S WHAT'S NOT WELL YOU YOU YOU AND EVERYTHING ELSE And maybe if you paid a little more attention Maybe if you sat in your discomfort a little bit Maybe you'd be highly sensitive and almost psychic and good at predicting patterns and comforted by the little repetitive things in this CHAOTIC FUCKED FUCKED FUCKED FUCKED WORLD HOOOOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT SEE IT HOW?! ALL IS NOT WELL. GOD DAMN IT. |