Party till it's 49 I'M SO HAPPY I hung out with K and hot architect at the beach Cousin and Cat said they'd come by later for the party I knew the party would be 70 year olds frowning (plus Tante Z jiggling), kids on too much sugar and some self-important DJ playing very inappropriate music as loudly as possible K and hot architect took pity on me "Let's just take her to Heidi's" "Yeah come on Sarsoura it's going to be so corny" I better not K, suddenly enraged, "WHY THE FUCK NOT" It was so out of character for her I started laughing OKAY LET'S GO Remember when I said I wanted to corrupt the mommies? I'm an idiot I was informed that Heidi's based in Canada (next to my sister funnily enough) and is "a mood" We drove over to her village and met her kids and incredibly adorable family (plus clearly gay uncle who loved me -- our secret gaydars hugged) Heidi has a nose piercing, tattoos, shiny tan skin and multi-colored eyes so naturally I fell in love with her at first sight (she's happily married and I later learned she knows she has this effect on basically everyone) We made small talk until Heidi gulped down her dinner, slapped her knees with both hands and said "Let's DO THIS" We drove out to a shisha bar midway between Alexandria proper and the coast Aaand I had a shisha OKAY HEAR ME OUT I'm not going to go back to smoking cigarettes and I'm not going to drive out to shisha cafes/bars in Cairo I PROMISE Also The mommies made me do it K and Heidi are funny and intoxicating and I am but human And Amy (architect, single, hot--so hot) was vaping I laughed until I cried We sang We danced We flirted I felt like myself for the first time in a loooong time My brother called me mid shisha toke and was inaudible so I freaked out and thought he was in trouble I called him back to find out he butt dialled me but he heard the concern in my voice so we've made up now And aaand My good friend from uni/socialite/art fart days connected with me on Instagram She thought I was dead, I thought she was in Japan She made a ten year old! He looks just like her She said she's recently been exploring her sexuality and I offered her my tour guide services So now I have a girl date in Cairo! Such a good day I'm still buzzing We left the bar when they turned off the lights Kept singing in the car I'm so horny I don't know how I'm going to go back to sea granny, baby sitting mode I guess I'll swim my libido away in the morning Angry angry laps |