45 the fucking asshole in Houston (tw: rape) I went to this film screening with Sara They were playing French new wave films on a big projector till dawn Nerdy sleepover Comfy rugs and pillows to sprawl out on I saw the tall bald brit masry I'd been crushing on His articles were so funny and he went to all the same artsy events Sara noticed me staring As we shuffled out the building she shoved me in his direction HI aren't you Ayman? "Em, yes" I read * blah* it was hilarious "That's kind" Sara "SHE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE" Sabotage I... do, actually--can I buy you a drink? Curly haired sidekick I hadn't noticed--"He's taken" "I'm very flattered though" Okay well I'll just go die now so "Could I interest you in my young friend?" Curly --"I'M SINGLE" Excuse me? Ayman--"He was checking you out inside" Oh, plot twist! We all went to Horreya for beers Horreya's a very old cafe, I heard so many stories They said Mahfouz used to recite poetry there I think it's been around since 1930 I ended up dating Curly Cairo was so small-- he and Ayman had so many mutual friends with Sara It was easy, we were always in the same place, he knew everyone I knew Curly was an up and coming artist and one of the few people at the time with their own studio We were both embarrassed virgins I really liked him He was a little affected and a workaholic But he didn't smoke and he was already running a business He dropped out of college I thought he was unique and brave One day he invited me over for chocolate -- he was designing for a patisserie/chocolaterie His studio was green with pink curtains, manga and graphic novels on the walls Fancy computers His work partner wasn't there Chocolate. Where's the chocolate? Aw they're sculpted, I feel bad eating them "No they're really good--try this one" And he fed me And was overcome with desire by the sight of me chomping away at a turtle And he kissed me and I found this hilarious It was less hilarious when I told him to stop and he kept going I remember pushing his hands away from my jeans I remember freezing when he pulled down my underwear He didn't penetrate me and he came on my stomach I guess that made it not rape in his head It confused me too I kept seeing him It was easy, he was always there and he knew everyone I knew I didn't know what sex was supposed to be like for a long time Not until Ozzy Ozzy knew and despised Curly He hated that Curly refused to speak Arabic He hated his Californian accent He hated that he painted his half Japanese ex girlfriend naked Cairo was small And I learned I was a fetish Curly is now one of the best selling, if not the most commercially successful, Egyptian contemporary artists in the world And he got his big break doing murals during the revolution Suddenly he could do Arabic interviews Self professed skater boy became vox fucking populi The revolution was a big break for a lot of shitty people with networking and marketing skills And deserving people too of course I haven't thought about them for a long time I've been isolating myself in a lot of ways I needed it But now I feel ready for more Now I want to be beautiful and take up space And I want to make people uncomfortable |