24, my siblings are assholes They're good people, deep down My older half sister from mama's previous marriage was kept a secret she has every right to be fucked up and she has fully exercised that right she's a nurse in Virginia she dates creeps, has a gun and is always trying to fleece somebody in the family she fluctuates between love bombing me and trying to get me to give up my inheritance-- it's not my house Ate, it's S's and H's too (other siblings) my younger sister is a high strung middle child/daddy's girl she was holier than thou, but when I was in my progressive hijabi phase and could beat her at debates, she became classier than thou and then a cultist vegan... she's very difficult to like unless you're also extremely Type A after marrying the ambassador's son and living the life she was expected to in the Emirates, she realised she still felt empty and her husband is a cheating ass so she shipped him and the 2 kids (a boy and a girl, of course) to Canada. she 'eat pray love'-d a bit in Italy and became a photographer after mama died and she divorced the hubs, she was almost cool but then she made me do her taxes and trauma dumped on me until I got panic attacks finally, the golden boy, the baby I mean he could've been an absolute monster and to his credit he hasn't tried to boss us around mainly because I established in my 20s that I'm fucking crazy and I will absolutely go to third world jail if you try to restrict my movement or speech in any way he's silently elitist, a little bit of a misogynist (but nowhere near as bad as your average Ahmed) spoiled spoiled spoiled rotten and I'm the only one who ever tells him to shut the fuck up which shocks and enrages him, every. time. All of this to say because I am the only one capable of actual empathy-- I am the sibling burdened with death bed instructions Mama left aaaaall the admin with me And now, her sister, my aunt--Mama N, has a relapse of breast cancer And asked me for the rent from the house my mother left to us Not my older sister, not the richer siblings, me Of course I told her to take it And now it's a teeny timebomb I can take them, the siblings aren't very good at actual confrontation and theyre scared of me I can make a deeply hurtful point by point presentation of why theyre wrong And it haunts them for years I'm not worried about that I'm annoyed with myself for feeling sad I'm annoyed with myself for feeling I want to be an unburdened asshole too I know in the end they'd agree, they would just posture and cause her unnecessary stress first And if Mama N goes, they'll mourn REALLY LOUD Fucking assholes. I love them and I want them to be okay and it hurts me when they hurt But UGH. Ugh. I'm packed. I'm ready to drive to the coast now. |