End of 15 Psycho baby BIT ME I am so happy with my life choices Poor N They brought cookies I am SO happy with my life choices --- This summer feels really weird Baba the curmudgeon is suddenly super social and hosting family members and having brunch and tea with neighbors And COOKING My father is cooking Cooking WELL Aunt Z has a stomach bug and isn't swimming or talking to anybody, this is bizarre and devastating I hope she recovers at the crappy timeshare Aunt Z is summer in my head, she calls me at dawn, nags me into the water, we do laps for five or six hours with Tante Duck Did I evil eye the granny clique by talking about them? Something is rotten in the state of Sahel Tante S (Rizzo) was very warm and squishy but she left early with the kiddo yesterday so K and I could chat She said the water's still and serene in winter and the village is amazing when it's empty Granny goals! I told her I aspire to her lifestyle and she chuckled and said I should Tante Duck and my Aunt Z had a spat but I didn't think it was that serious I guess it's serious Oh and remote work is still stressful even if you're in a maillot My cousin's baby/Aunt Z's grand-daughter is 20 years old and drives and has tales about college/protests in France and gives me freelancing tips-- I remember carrying her around this apartment Okay that's not weird, that's just time I'm in my brother's room because I gave cousin and cat-in-law my bigger, sunnier ...maybe I should move my stuff now that they're gone? Nah Colossus isn't moving until September Everything's just slightly off, not necessarily bad Just very unexpected and slightly unnerving Maybe it's still too early I usually have a breakdown two weeks in-- but I don't feel simmering tensions or anything I miss my mama a lot lately, I don't know why it's sharp again Grief is sneaky and annoying and won't email me a schedule Maru's stuck in Cairo, that's weird too Usually I'd get a day or two out in Alex with him and his fabulous entourage of the week I liked standing by the highway outside the village waiting for "GET IN BITCH WOOHOOOOO" Aunt/niece/cousin/daughter Sarah doesn't get to make naughty jokes and swear And I have so much to say about penises Maru has more to say about penises I miss him I should call him actually, at least I won't have to lie about Sahel being awful Well it's not awful, but it's not great And I don't have to lie and he doesn't have to see through the lies and say fuck you have fun I hate you Maybe this is just the 'tism? Miss my routine I'm usually depressed and wary about Sahel Maybe I planned too much this year, I was too prepared for the madness Maybe I needed to be destroyed and sob under the bridge over the pool while kids in floaties give me the side eye I don't know I don't know IsA it'll be better when I can swim |