4, attempted kidnapping Aunt Z called to make sure my bags were packed ... Mediterranean grannies should do political negotiation Plus the UN wouldn't need catering anymore I feel weird about the sea after what happened to the migrants near Greece 1350 kilometers away I know there were already thousands of people who drowned And I was splashing around in their watery grave I don't know, it's still in the news, kind of If only in juxtaposition with the billionaires in the tube "You pack your maillot, habibty?" "I'm still thinking about it, tante" "Nooo, no think about it Sarah. We just do it!" "I'll seeee" "Yes! I see you Saturday? Okay Saturday! YOU SAY SATURDAY OKAY BYE BYE BYE YA ROHY BYE" Ya rohy means my soul So I can't even be mad at the weaponized deafness I'm not going to go She's not even going to our village And I'm not going to the shitty timeshare resort on Eid NO Sulking into overpriced mango juice while some plastic person in a Gucci swimsuit they can't even wet gawks at me all slack jawed Wide fully visible eyeballs Shameless staring is a national pastime But at least in our village I know the eyeballs' names We're having dinner at my cousin's place tomorrow so I'll just squish Aunt Z extra hard when she pouts and hmphs Ozzy poked and said happy Eid Unexpected We had a nice chat He's having pasta with his mama for Eid which I'm pretty sure is blasphemy but they're Dutch, I learned not to ask questions a long time ago (zwarte Piet) Ozzy is an Aussie Dutch Masry And I'm an American Pinay Masreya We bonded over the staring He's very tall and pale and had really long blond hair I'm East Asian/Pacific Islander-looking and I was very tiny with Beatles hair Waiters would sweat as they approached our table And then they'd sigh in relief when they heard my ditzy Arabic Then Ozzy who's from the countryside would bust out his salt-of-the-earth Arabic and they would lose. their fucking. minds. It's comforting to be an alien with somebody Sometimes he was my big brother, sometimes we were fuck buddies, sometimes we were disgustingly in love and sometimes we were mortal enemies We were in a band together too On our first date, when he was dropping me off at my house While the car was slowing down he asked if he could kidnap me 'Sure?' He revved up before I answered We got away with everything Now he has a white beard, he still has longish hair and he's bald at the top And he's still obsessed with John Lennon style sunglasses I have a skunky white streak, long wavy hair, definitely not tiny anymore And I still dress like I came from a commune Before my clothes were edgy and now people just think I may legitimately be in a cult Pilates I did pilates today |