a series of moments the libido is high it's zero or it's high with the hormone therapy everything was quiet I'd really like to stop being afraid of my body thank you for asking --- after tangled limbs, -I love you I love you too pause. -No, I don't Okay! So syrupy sweet and cheery that we start cackling-- I don't know I don't think about tomorrow I don't know how The floor's been collapsing from under me since I was born Some people scramble Some people curl into a ball and shut their eyes really tight At some point I reached my arms up, pointed my fingers and toes, and dove --- She frowned at me because I said I don't believe in creating legacies People gift them when you're old or when you're dead It's almost nothing to do with you at all Her boyfriend agreed So the betrayal was doubled And I was alone on the couch again Listening to their muffled disconnection People like to show me their sandcastles But they don't like why or how I love them --- My sister's running joke is that I'm making sure I'll never be reincarnated It's a mean trick It's a misinterpretation to believe that avoiding pain and pleasure is the road to non attachment That's like not taking the test to be able to say you didn't fail You have to live before you die You have to die to live a life |