Manifestos don't really wonder Most of them are sort of : This is the world, this is the problem, this is what we would look like if we solved it Which is maybe why I failed to finish my political science degree And why I liked art I told my baba I wanted to do design and there was a market and the social impact yada yada But that's not why That's how I got to take a bunch of classes Why is because Well because why -- I like that question My friend recently told me if you wait to be a bit more settled to do things you'll wait forever And my boyfriend made essentially the same argument about marriage And I think that desire to be settled before acting is related to wanting to have an answer to work from mentally as well-- you dont want to just dive into why or why not It's funny that this idea is everywhere in my life right now (I'm working with the friend who gave me the advice, on a phd proposal thats similar-- the emotional/mental/physical effect of the wandering, aimless walk) I also started reading about cognitive biases and tunnel vision And it's making me think about my boyfriend/husband to be :D One of the things I love about Douda is how often we get lost and how often our plans go to shit He never lets that phase him Being lost is just another way to be, not a problem to avoid And even in our relationship, a lot of the things we assumed about each other were wrong but it wasn't disappointing or unsettling A lot of the answers we found we just stumbled upon because we were willing to get lost And we both feel one of the main reasons we're together at all is because we were willing to be alone It sounds fatalistic doesn't it I know, I thought so too and that felt yucky Because fatalism is lazy and ignorant But I don't think what I'm talking about is that One, because it's hard work to trust that the steps will materialize in front of you like that Indiana Jones cliff edge moment over and over again Two, because it means living with doubt-- and the lazy stupid fatalists don't do doubt, they run away from it I'm obsessed with 2 things, doubt and trust If you've read this diary, you'll call bullshit and say all I've ever written about is love You're right But now I think love is just the perfect framework to ask about doubt and trust And now there's the added layer of getting lost ... I'm rambling (allowing myself to get lost, yaaay) Point is, I don't like manifestos anymore They don't ask why They aren't really about anything new at all They just think they are Manifestos are hipsters Get lost and wander and wonder Whatever that means to you, a plane ticket or somebody's hug |