as if i know when you're quoting something i wrote, as if it's yours, as if i won't think you've read it and as if i'll take it as some sort of sign. what are you doing? there's no trick to me. i'll love you for free. maybe that sounds cheap. i suppose i should be more discriminating. they teach teachers that you should carry the students along, not give them the answers. i guess i could make charts like my best friend-- X is when i fell and Y might explain well...why Z is what makes me run and W is what makes me chase-- why does their have to be a trick? the right thing to say and the right thing to do to make someone helpless, to make someone crazy and then you'll enjoy it all from a comfortable distance? as if you can win and as if you can feel when you're that far away that's not feeling, that's a tickling in your genitals why do they have these books and films and groups selling what they think is sophistication look around you the weakest people are the ones in power shriveled up politicians and businessmen and celebrities that have nothing to want anymore because what they thought they wanted is empty and what they know they want is raw, soft love legacies and fame and power. for the sake of legacies and fame and power. nobody's comfortable with legacies what a baby you are to think you're the one that'll shine under the light there's no trick to feeling full that obscure object of desire is a work of art, a comment, not a dogma and i don't profess to be realer than you i'm trying too but you can't get to me anymore i had sex with love. tired, tired sex. ugly, awkward sex. laughing, sneezing sex with someone who loved me who screamed and cried with me who slept and dreamed with me. and i know how to be honest and naked and unafraid. because we sorted laundry together and he cooked horrible food and sometimes good food for me and because he knows i'll never tell and i know he'll never tell. it didn't work out for us but-- there is no trick, there is no move and there is no line in existence that will ever feel better than that |