sarah found resolve i made orange juice and my feet are sticky, it's a sacrifice i'm willing to make for the vitamin c goodness. okay--mostly i just wanted a stress ball and settled for oranges. why am i stressed you ask oh imaginary interested reader? well soon i'll be moving to a big empty house in the middle of nowhere and i'm scared that i wont be able to spend as much time downtown, with friends, online basically i'm afraid i'll be stuck at home with the family...whom i love immensely...in small doses although i'll get to drive to my heart's content in the middle of the desert (i can't kill anything over there...except the odd chicken, yeah people raise chicken out there) also, booty call man seems to like me. which is disturbing because 'lustful bag of jerk' i can handle but actual interest makes me nervous--and just after i got rid of 'sir stalks-a-lot' too ugh. that coupled with the closure i finally feel i have with the ex--we've been going through this awkward phase of 'alright let's be friends and celebrate humanity etc. etc.' which was interesting and painful. eventually it was followed by a lovely moment of 'oh WOW yes, yes, THAT'S why i don't like you, thank goodness!' it's an especially good reminder that boys should never have been and never will be a priority again. i mean i'm not swearing them off just yet--normally i'd gush about these two cuties that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, but NO. it's just the fiction of them and it's not important. i have creative skills to develop after years of stifling them and i have a lot to prove to myself. i'm very excited and speaking of proving things to myself--i'm starting to think maybe i should apply to work for this art magazine. here are the three signs i'm basing this decision on (yes i still believe in signs): 1. Of course one of the signs has to be a cute guy. (i told you i didn't swear them off just yet) Cute guy at film screening seemed really nice and works for the art magazine. Which of course I interpreted as "Friendly work environment that's ...aesthetically pleasing *giggle*" 2. Not so cute guy (i'm not being mean, he's a rich narcissist and this is anonymous :) ) featured in the magazine is a musical genius that i've been encouraged to take lessons with several times (i don't know if i will, that's another story) 3. Magazine is then passed to me randomly in the middle of gig by friend because there was an ad calling for creative writers to turn in a fictional diary page from an artist... so my head does a little somersault and says "HELLO!" have i found my calling? *shrug* maybe i have, maybe i haven't what's up with the laissez faire attitude you ask oh reader that actually made it to the end of the entry? i'm choosing to adopt a new casual persona. i'm chill. i'm relaxed. imperturbable and i go with the flow... |