repeating myself, but i like it this time An old entry on another journal about this recurring moment I seem to have: "The strangest tihng happened to me this misguided morning. It was dark and I was awake. It was quiet and I was dancing. Nothing quite right yet nothing quite wrong. It was just such an awkward theatre of a moment. And I felt good. Like maybe there aren't fatal mistakes--like maybe there's just fate. It was silly I know. I tried to swallow the stupid, mournful, ticklish swelling feeling bubbling up my throat. My teeth furrowed into my bottom lip, my nails (probably because they saw the success of my teeth) followed suit at my tightly hugged waist but it was useless. It was one of those futile struggles you only make so surrender is sweeter. And now I feel glowy and meditative--I'm waiting for the sun to rise." |