forgetting ideal love. i'm trying so hard to be good and not let my head ruin the first boy i feel like i dont deserve. but my head hurts and everythings getting louder, slowly but surely...menacingly sure and he wont understand. or, there's a wall up that i'm impatiently tearing away at to come down and its too early and i'm forcing it because i'm scared and i cant let things flow it doesnt work that way and i need to be close to my friends. and to my family. |