afraid. i talked for hours to axel yesterday. and i feel that kind of ease i feel with sara and noni and roo talking to him. and i want to feel that ease with mohammed but i cant. my parents know i want to leave. they just want me to finish uni for myself. so i have BA, so i have a good job. just a year. but i need someone to hold my hand because i hate it so much and somehow doing crazy things like cutting seems easier than writing an essay rehaam scared me. i'm convinced i'm pregnant :) i'm going on the pill today. i'm supposed to try to fix everything somehow...be calm and try to attack the things i've let pile up i'm going to try i owe it at least an attempt |