draining manipulation
i may not be the most manipulative person i know but...suffice it to say i'm starting to frighten myself again this boy i once knew said 'i've been affected for so long the affectation seems more authentic to me than anything else' and i knew that a few months ago i swallowed my pride and i resigned to give my submission, for a little while longer, out of respect or frustration or fatigue. everyday i allow myself to perform these perfunctory motions--thinking they're harmless--thinking 'i've sacrificed my desires for my family but eventually the time will come to hold my own, and i'll be ready' now i wonder if i've lost momentum if i've lost time and if eventually i'll lose the will to dream |