A challenging day I got distracted by the protest chat and missed my bus And I cried And I drove to work! I got followed! I couldn't tell if it was sexual or political harassment I feel sorry for anybody assigned to me, shit working hours Following a bus around The fifth settlement (where I work) used to be a desert I went to uni there when the campus moved but there were like... Two malls? Some banks, villas under construction and dunes as far as the eye could see Now it's a whole proper city I figured out where my uni was and it turns out the company isn't that far away from it And I suddenly remembered the road and oriented myself I got lost on it once in the past, it was darkness and desert I got goosepimples when I realized that empty space turned into a giant company and malls and compounds and trees and SO MUCH BUSTLING LIFE Has it been that long? All of this in 7 or 8 years I was shaking like a chihuahua when I walked in And I got hugs So strange to get hugs and sympathy So wonderful? I learned that there's another batch of trainees who are my age and older And they usually divide everyone by age They put me with the babies, I guess I have baby energy I'm so glad I dooo, I love this group The tests were horrible and tricky and full of typos and misleading answer choices I cried and shook again I had two coffees and pepsi and the caffeine squished my brain like a slime toy I cried and shook the whole day really I cried at lunch over something stupid But more hugs? So weird and nice By the end of the day I was glad I drove because I would've ended up missing the 1am bus back home I drove home on the scary dark desert roads again I cried again It must have been bad because when I got to the toll the guy just lifted the bar and said 'just go on through ma'am don't worry about it' I said a shaky 'god bless you' and 'is this the way to (my neighborhoods name)' and he nodded And then I cried again because he was nice And then I cried because Hassan was up and the villa wasn't dark and scary I feel good I feel like another month or two of crying and I'll be driving to work with one hand on the steering wheel and a slouchy back I have to finish my paperwork this week I think I can I think I caaaan We're visiting my schizophrenic uncle on Sunday I don't know if I should go or not I feel like it could stress him out But he's getting older and I might not get to see him again I don't know I should be getting the medical insurance form somehow I'll figure it out |