Barely day 15, goose pimples My Swedish friend K is interesting She's a deeply religious Muslim but also very unorthodox Feminism, crystals and Islam (a surprisingly popular combination these days) She and her mother (Rizzo-like tante) have this witchy, knowing vibe about them that I really love Baba loathes it (bonus) It's very confusing for him because he sees me looking things up in the Quran after hanging out with them and he can't tell if it's a good or bad thing Every summer I get this odd therapy/spiritual advice session that makes my skin goose pimply And every summer I sob Her kid thinks I'm funny but he's too Swedish to riff Egyptians riff I was late to the riffing too Even 5 year olds are sarcastic here K makes my heart wobbly and reclaims very loaded and very painful language for me My Arabic and my self esteem aren't there yet The week with Belarusian cat-in-law made me think of all the sexism, ethnocentrism and plain old trauma I associate with Islam I said most days I'm more Buddhist than anything else "But you eat meat" I can be a bad Buddhist "You crazy kyat" I told K my values and my identity don't conventionally fit with Islam She said I was wounded by people not by ideas and it's a part of my heritage I should understand for my own sake Can't argue with that And she brought up the same verse my father had mentioned this morning, UNPROMPTED APROPOS OF NOTHING It was creepy The Quran's a big BIG book, and that prayer is a looong prayer (it's called The Cave) I'm trying to analyse it now I mean if my baba and Muslim witches are on the same page then I've got to, right? It felt really good to vent about religion It's hard to in Egypt And it was fun to talk spooky things without being judged Of course my spiritual advisor would be a blonde Swede Masreya dentist mama, smoking shisha on the beach in cut off denim shorts And no, before you think it--I did not hit on her and I'm not crushing She's very, very intimidating She's in the 'mommy I always wanted' category (even though she's only a few years older) There was also a teeny bristly moment about LGBTQ stuff I came out to her, which surprised me She took it pretty well, I mean it was the typical "God will save you" response But I prefer that to calling the popo and my death so I'll take it I got my period in the middle of our lengthy beach ramble, which felt quite witchy too No swimming this week âšī¸ I used to swim on my period when I was younger but I had the clique of artsy fartsies talking me into it We were celebrating nature and...wombs? I don't know what we were doing, I just wanted to be cool Now I want easy laundry K wants to go power walking tomorrow and I'm a little bit wary of the way she said POWER She makes me feel like I have a sparkly soul And also that I need to punch literal demons And also that I need to get out of my comfort zone Third one seems easiest to work on at the moment "You've BEEN working on it" I have? "The demons are making you feel you're at the beginning of a long road but you've been traveling it already-- You're already a very spiritual person and the more you journal the more you'll see that" Yeah. Wait, how did you know I journal? "Of course you do" Right... đđ Hi K Don't worry I still believe you're a witch My science and woowoo hats peacefully coexist Maybe I just give off journaling energy? Goose pimples goose pimples |