sorry I was busy being a socialite
dreams come true unless your dreams are stupid this happened at around the time i started another less anonymous blog (i'm sorry i'm cheating) about positive ways in which humans I know have affected me, in an attempt to combat my misanthropy this basically reinforced it-- but made a bunch of people feel appreciated and less wary of me ...aaand forced me to socialize ...and have (amazing?!) sex with a clown ...i will not elaborate further in conclusion mistress blog was a surprisingly good thing-- and also clowns in other news, i have a russian yoga instructor who terrifies me into relaxing, i love and fear her i'm pretty sure i'll be able to literally kiss my own ass in about five more sessions i forced this information on my immensely talented and beautiful friend who for some reason decided-- this voice needs to be shared she asked me to take part in a collaborative writing project about middle eastern women that isn't about our babas oppressing us or self discovery through our sexy desert flower vaginas obviously i plan to be the sardonic buffer voice between their probably deeply meaningful story telling my other sweet friend is sad and i can't do anything about it and i want to punch him into happiness and i love him and i suck (i hope american football magically makes him feel better) my bestest friend in the world is evolving and better remember me when she's a movie star (it's only phrased like a threat because it is) and finally i might be in love again god damn it damn it damn it damn it god damn sorry i might be in love again and it pisses me off he has a pepe le pew french accent it makes me snort laugh he's a hippy artsyfartsy mathematician with abs i suspect he's a full blown shrine of cat nipples style serial killer who's love bombing me you can't be into infinitesimal calculus, pedro almodovar, maintaining your abs and me there aren't enough supportive gay men in the world to power that level of kim k sangfroid in the face of adoration he isn't suuuper covered in red flags and his abs make a compelling argument stop judging me imaginary moralistic brains of non existent diary audience |