steel vagina I do not want to watch movies with you and have sex and pretend. You are not a hamburger. I am not a hamburger. For fuck's sake you are not a hamburger! Had metaphorical hamburgers, they were temporarily satisfying. I was a late bloomer and figured out my body/emotional needs in my early twenties. My early twenties. That's the latest you're allowed to be a bit of an idiot. Now I find actual hamburgers have the same effect. So no--the prospect of awkward sweatiness, and acting like hearts have dimmer switches, and reading through your bullshit, and being made to feel ridiculous for my honesty--is not exciting to me. It's not tragically beautiful. It's not finding a moment of solace in a dark and desperate world. It's not transcendent thinking. It's not liberating. It's silly itch scratching and a whole new kind of repression. You've switched one taboo for another. The L word? Are you kidding me? It's more okay now to admit to hardcore fetishes than to say you'd like to be in love. Sex for the sake of it is so superficial-- which is fair enough-- but nothing gets my goat more than all the obnoxious farts who act like they're more evolved or living proof of universal consciousness because they're less picky about when to pull their pants down. Give me a fucking break. Dear potential dates: I only want to sleep with people I love--I'm medieval that way. Ugh. And don't get me started on the gender lines. She's a woman like a man (great song)--men sleep around and so does she. So that makes it better? Is that what you're implying? Manly= better? Love= girly= yuck? Really? Thank you for freeing me of my oppression, token foreign feminist person. I can dance on my burning burka and loosen up on my Tinder account now. This is not a casual sex diatribe. This is a "people who refuse to concede to the 'casual' part of casual sex" diatribe. Or a "guys who won't take no for an answer because their chauvinism is so ingrained in them, they think a girl who turns down sex is somehow inhibited" harangue. By the way-- thinking a woman's decision is misguided, and that she's not as smart as you, and that she doesn't possess your clever manly man ability to unemotionally pull out your genitals--is sexist. I hate being harassed and belittled but up until this point-- I chalked it up to a lack of education... and legislation...and enforcement, and socio-economic problems in general. No excuse, of course--but it made me a little more sympathetic and not so homicidal. Now I have to deal with sexists who claim to be feminist-- and they're well educated, and they're never poor -- and I'm so sorry but I'm just going to have to stab people. It's the only way. Once I learn how not to vomit at the sight of fatal injuries and develop enough upper body strength to do more than half a push up, it's on. When I'm inevitably arrested/shot: Please leave flowers on Algeria's (my dead cat) grave. I entrust my diaries to the care of Touta. If you want to eulogize me, do so by punching the next "feminist" idiot who tries to get into your pants, in my honor. |