easy love It all feels final Or endless It isn't It never is I mean when it is you don't have the time to complain about how it feels So it isn't Usually I dream about San Fernando About the trees and the water and the rain and my grandparents Mother Mary on the staircase wall and the dead woman's apartment and a hammock under very big stars My ten year old face in a broken mirror Lots of little pigs and dogs and chicken running around Mary and her tilted understanding head looking down at M's bed Mary bathed in blue in the Armenian church I used to sit in My Lola never really talked to me I don't remember her saying a word But I always felt she loved me I remember thinking it was strange Because she never seemed awkward or distant I didn't know her and I didn't spend time with her but whenever we visited she'd hold me for so long and give me the biggest kisses She made it look so easy to love |