Growing I think, at least in my case, I was young for a very long time, and then I became very old, very quickly. They say that nowadays, kids are growing up too fast. Maybe I'm just part of the trend. I know I'm not an adult. God knows I'm not. Most of the time I act like I'm five. But I think of yesterday with sadness. I don't know what it is to be carefree. Just the idea fills me with contempt--or maybe jealousy. My friends are also distortions. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe everyone has an ancient depth somewhere--I suppose it's a matter of who allows you to dig. I don't want to know. It hurts to think about it. I don't want to think of human beings. It's so much easier to think of people. It's easier to blame 'people', to hate 'people'. It hurts to think that everyone, every-one--is just trying their best. "You aren't more merciful than God Sarah" He sounded almost...scared It was like he was saying it to himself I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. |