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65 I feel a bit nauseous all the time Doc N says I'm spiritually robust But I have no hope in anything ever working out And that's interesting I don't want to be interesting I want to be mildly amusing and ultimately forgettable I'm swollen It doesn't feel like it's Aunt Flo visiting This is foreboding inflammation I'm doing all the things All the things I used to tell myself to do that I didn't do so I could pretend that was why I was unhappy I'm not very loved And even though before it wasn't my fault Now it's mostly me I don't let anybody in And I chase after people who are the same way I see myself doing it And that twist in the stomach when you know you're about to crash but can't do anything about it That's been all my adult life with my family ...I smell things now Somebody chewing gum across the room My nose is awake again It doesn't help the nausea But it's exciting 65 days--more energy, resurrected nose |