Nearly 1am, 37 I'm breaking up with Ozzy Even though I really don't want to Even though I love him and saying I love him to myself is one of my stims Even though it absolutely shatters my heart It's just not right Maybe it's not right now And I still hope and will hope that one day it is I don't want to turn him into a drug I don't want to cringe every time I make him one/both of my parents I dont want to cringe when I think of Freud Egyptians will say I tempted the evil eye by being so loud about him I don't want to wait for him again In a neat, safe box designed to his specifications In 3 years, I'll be 40 I need to make decisions for myself now, I need to be very careful about where I allocate my energy And to be the one pushing to resolve his "biggest regret" -- no amount of mental gymnastics can justify the energy drain ... I need to be more like him And even if he's sad, I know he can't object to that |