1 ish AM, Day 29 I talked to my aunt in Sydney, mama's best friend She was SO ready to help me out It was really hard to ask She's friends with a migration agent, of course she is Every aunt I have is tiny, powerful and well connected Why am I an overwhelmed and isolated puddle My heart is pounding and I want to cry And I don't want to cry at anybody-- I'm not my sisters Everyone I can cry to is having a hard time I let baba know I'm trying to figure out how to work/study in Australia He probably thinks it's about Ozzy It's only partially about Ozzy The other part is, I would like to earn savings. I would like to live somewhere that is possible. And I want to wear shorts. I keep talking about the shorts. The shorts have just become a symbol for the millions of tiny things I've given up on. Ozzy's a mess, I love him but suuuch a mess And I could never count on him for anything Maybe that's good for me I want to study counselling I want to be a person Endometriosis is classed as a disability there I taught classes sitting down, in a cold sweat, with pallid unsexy vampire face My supervisors were annoyed with me (except Mokhtar, he was a cool boss) I'm tired of being afraid Well, I'm tired of being afraid of failure I'll be afraid of sharks and face sized spiders instead There's so much to do though And I don't know where to start And I'm pretty broke My resume is fine for Egypt but internationally...it looks insane I can do the English proficiency thing I suppose Resume and prove I can speak my first language Okay Wish me luck please I need it Thank you for existing |