Barely day 10 I'm channeling Esther Williams in ernst's chic balmy head 🐠 I word wall-ed I big timey word wall-ed He said he loved his '75 Mazda No, he said "I love her" He said "Can't wait to bring her over here" --...you ...love her I love her. --Hm. What's wrong? --Nothing... -- Nothing, I suddenly feel nauseous Okay, feel better soo... --I'm jealous of the fucking car. What? -- The car, I'm jealous of the fucking car. But you are a human. The car is an object. -- ... I suppose you both have nice curves... -- * eye twitch * But you're not competing with the car. -- You won't say you love me, so the car wins Well, it's a good thing you aren't competing! --- and then something inside me threw a plate at the wall and started cackling--- I can't I CAN'T I tried to chug chamomile I got into child's pose I inhaled LOUDLY And then I typed out a novella chronicling every shitty moment since 2007 And hit send And screamed NO into my hands Sigh. I know, I know he has the 'tism too I know it's been 16 years And I know the bloody fool loves me But this, without nicotine, without caffeine While intermittent fasting I need SOMETHING And it's not a list of things he wants to do to me in May There was a Canadian bear, you know Completely enthralled Wanted to take me moose wrestling or coyote punching in the snow-- Full white guy courtship display, showed me ALL his fish I don't need this I'm not the one who broke him He picked the psychopath I watched him pick the psychopath I hugged him while he cried over the psychopath I'm wounded too, damn it. But his wounds are so big and sad --I feel like an asshole pointing out a scraped knee to him in his ICU bed It's too hard ☹️ He's ruining Korean for me And you know how I feel about Korean 어떡해 |