Bikh, Egyptian for boo 👻 Every time something strange happens in the middle of the night my head splits in 3 directions 1) Let's hypothesise rationally: tinnitus, temperature changes and old furniture expanding or contracting, foxes scream like dying women all the time, perhaps a new bird guest for the saga, my imagination is super graphic and I'm interpreting muscle spasms wrong, it's just cptsd hyper vigilance, regular ole insomnia and REM disorders 2) There were probably creepy Spanish or Turkish invaders on one side or the other of my bloodline and this is karmic reckoning for imperialism and colonization. Or just freelance ghosts. I mean I'm relatively privileged in this lifetime too. Freelance proletariat ghosts. And aliens. Ghost aliens. Plus demons and djinn. I'll pray even though I'm pretty sure they can tell I'm agnostic and this is monster foreplay for them. 3) The genetic predisposition has caught up with me and I have late onset schizophrenia. 20 percent of schizophrenic people get symptoms even after 40. I avoided the magic mushrooms for nothing. I wanted to meet god too. I hope they don't make me see the same therapist as my uncle. Somebody's going to pop out and I'm going to have to ignore them even if they're super engaging. What if they're super engaging and cute? Then I do breath work And slowly a space widens, it doesn't get completely quiet I'll take quieter And then some tired sounding devout men sing out the call to prayer And the panic switch turns off Other updates-- The Aussie disappeared (Newton's cradle), ah well, I figured-- at least it was pleasant, it's hard to say goodbye when it's pleasant Must reframe birthday highlights to emphasise homemade choco cake, el clasico and M & Saf being adorable and thinking of me warmly, unprompted, sho cute It's amazing to watch the sun come up but I hope these heebie-jeebies pass soon I really need the sleep |