the 72 hours of bliss that I don't ever want to remember differently I feel How do I describe this I literally and metaphorically vomited And He got it He understands vomit He vomited back (not literally :) ) He appreciated the thing I felt deeply ashamed of All the things I felt ashamed of He didn't say "that's okay" He didn't tolerate it He LIKED it He didn't say he loved me but I felt loved As a person And desired as an object And I felt desire Strange headachey desire that rumbled out of a deep dark place And I was fascinated And I laughed And he morphed into this glowy perfectly imperfect thing that I need on my skin and in my head and expanding in my chest And he promised to try and asked me to try And I can't believe I'm in love I can't believe it I can't I can't I thought I was done I thought I could never feel anything more than this fear and I could never expose these raw nerves I just barely came to terms with the hurt How is this happening? I asked him if he was going to kill me and with a sleepy smile, he said yes And he kissed me like I was the sweetest creature he'd ever seen All I want to do is die for him, a million deaths a day |