Butterflies I'm not angry at all today I stayed up all night talking to somebody who had their body violated too. He was a kid when it happened as well. He told me to carry around a knife--not just for strangers but for those closest to me I told him I'll never do that I regret a lot of things but I won't ever regret trying I know I still see monsters in the corners of my eyes But after that conversation--I realized People who care about me never asked me to apologize for it And I realized for all my insecurities- I don't have a knife in my pocket And to some--that doesn't mean very much That's fine. That's good. It is. I don't really want anyone to know what it feels like to want a knife. I think a very important question to ask someone before you begin a relationship is if they consider the past as the past, something to be erased and forgotten--or as something telling, not necessarily defining, but something to build on I'm starting to understand questions like that are more important than cultural incompatibility and bank accounts More than where and how to live-- first determine if you can live with each other And understand that there are lots of wonderful people you can love and can't live with Never tell yourself you ought to feel something or do something because of a deadline or because there's no reason not to When it comes to the rest of your life and the lives of people you might bring into the world --winging it and fear of getting "off the pot" isn't good enough I won't say love is not enough. I will always revere love and butterflies-- but love is more than butterflies |