Persona I used to have this fantasy that some kind of polymath stalker would work up the nerve to talk to me That somebody, somewhere quietly took notes about all the unremarkable things I've said and done for years And that somebody weaved all my sneezes into a pattern That somebody can predict my colds And maybe how long I have left to live And maybe know the actual reason I cry-- and maybe poke holes in my bullshit explication I wanted to be an anthropological subject I wanted my life in a pie chart I think I have that person in my head I think sometimes I'm too self-conscious to be real I played this game S suggested once I listed people I knew and wrote character analyses about them I try to find myself in other people Doesn't everyone do that? In the 'About' section of my profile-- I listed quotes from my friends and filmmakers and singers and teachers N used to joke that she'd bring it up in therapy That was almost a decade ago I haven't changed it |