the early middle of understanding Yesterday I looked for a long time at K's wall It's covered in faces of celebrities and family and other adorable creatures And I started separating the dead from the living And my eyes fell on our faces And I felt so sick I don't know how I got here I don't remember how or why I used to want to die Today I was with MK-- I introduced him to K and her friends and my brother-- and he fit in like a long lost puzzle piece And I felt so sad He said he was joyfully tearful And he said he might be moving away Kafka said the beginning of understanding is the wish to die Maybe after the beginning, understanding means happiness will always be tangled up with nostalgia and the fear of goodbye |