only the ones i nurture believe i can nurture This is what separates us-- I'm less concerned about what certain things might look like And not because I'm confident or more secure but probably because I think, I still have a bit of a teenage brain and my frontal lobe hasn't fully been able to process consequences Especially cultural consequences that I haven't been raised to be familiar with I'm less concerned because I'm a little more stupid Sometimes my way (or lack) of thinking is rewarding and it's often very trying Before, I would've been very afraid of this one little bit of dissonance in our mostly conventional and harmonious song But now I'm not as scared of jazz And I've already explained that hope and faith and love are the same to me And I want to see this as a chance to stand by that And I want to believe that she'll understand eventually and I strongly believe she will never love me less I know she's afraid this will be a mistake and I can see why But I can't care what it looks like and what it might lead to Not with this kind of pain This isn't heartache or disappointment-- and I know I often say that someone else's tragedy doesn't make her sadness or troubles any less valid And it doesn't. I understand why she feels defensive. I understand why she's worried. I understand that this might just be too much and all at once. I have to believe she'll come around and she has to believe I wont hurt myself and that I know how to care responsibly. I know it's a responsibility. And ultimately, even if she didn't believe in me-- this is the one principle I have You don't leave someone alone in that kind of black if you can help it |