no longer my soapbox I don't keep secrets and confessions here anymore. Because this isn't really an objective stranger anymore. I don't feel like I can say what's wrong or why or that anything's wrong at all beyond annoyances and medical problems which aren't my fault. Maybe I'm worried you'll think it's my fault or specifically that you'll think serves me right or that you'll think you're so much better off than me and I'd rather have my insides eaten than let you think that. I know that it's a stupid way to feel. Well, there isn't such a thing as feeling intelligently so maybe it isn't all that stupid. Oh fuck you for snooping. This is my space. And you're awful to use it for validation or judgment. And I feel horrible. And I feel hurt. And I don't know what to do. So there. ... I miss my objective stranger and friend and soapbox. And I hate that I let people I know read this--it was such a bad idea. If you're just starting up your diary/blog, never ever give away the address to people you see unless you want a more self-centered version of facebook. Oh, help. :( |