Pause to consider Can a person be just the right amount of whelmed? I've been panicky. Not actually panicking but constantly on the brink of it. The reasonable person in my head points to the tub incident and baba's diabetes and inevitable dead people processing. I'm suspicious of this person's calm. Can people really be calm and collected or do we just assume the calmness when there are no visible signs of hysteria? I do miss fearlessness sometimes. Choosing to be cautious was not a result of moralizing or anything as distasteful as that-- I know it comes off that way But I chose it because I thought-- I know for the people who were hurt, it makes little to no difference And I know that regret is a merciless thing that doesn't care about intentions or circumstance I have no reason for it It's just what I want, a pause to consider I like it better than pausing to reflect--there's not much I can do with that, I can tie it up with a ribbon and write it down But considering is more round, it requires listening Sometimes to unpleasant stories I'm tired of running away from them |