dear marriage missionaries,
but trust me there is nothing i want more in the world than to be a mother. working with children has stretched out my belly and my patience and my view of the world it was definitely the best and the most trying, most exhausting, most emotional and generally overwhelming decision i ever made i love children, from the terrible twos to the threatening teens and i can't wait to make one (or five) however, regardless of how badly i may want this, i refuse to marry a sperm donor i used to date a lot and my friends were all convinced that i'd settle down first but i always knew better and several misadventures later i've come to a place where i know what i want where i really know what i want--to a tee and as of this moment, there is nothing out there i'd balance my golf ball on i'm not making a family with anyone who's anything less than my best friend, my kind of lover and a good daddy. i have nothing against men, i have nothing against marriage and i have nothing against babies. on the contrary i appreciate and respect all of the above so much that i refuse to bring any of them into my life carelessly or without knowing in my heart that i can give them everything they deserve and i don't feel that right now i don't think i've ever felt that but i went on pretending anyway and i hate that, i hated who i was when i did that and yes, i would rather be alone and work on my art than have a halfhearted partner or be one. i wish you could meet my old friends and ask them what kind of girlfriend i was-- i think i was everything you want me to be now funnily enough so you see, you don't need to tell me any better, i'm a lot more dangerous than the angry virgins you're used to dealing with i'm one of those filthy dissidents that's holding out for a man that does the dishes occasionally. and i find sex boring too. well to be fair i find sex with someone who doesn't challenge me (that means you) boring. in the words of the legendary aretha, because i took a long time figuring out what that word means to me myself-- and now i find that there is nothing, just nothing more pathetic than a man who doesn't even bother to make the effort |