hot pink day so i say, tell me why you're worth it and he says, because you make me drive no, no, first he said something about being broke (i've paid on nearly every date and spent 150LE of credit on him in two days) i love that he thinks those amount to sacrifices if we were pagans worshipping venus at her temple, and he presented that on her altar-- she'd violate him anally...with a cactus...sprinkled with salt and jungle ants but we're not only i worship love so i didn't argue i just said neither of us want to argue but somehow we always do i just stopped this possessive love thing that fit like an itchy sweater and went back to my hippy ways that apparently he was trying to save me from by proposing i've gone from the girl that boys want to fix to the girl that needs to be saved! from broken to a sinner within a year, now that's what i call progress i hope the other woman the disturbing thing is she's ALSO half asian and has MY NAME-- it's so creepy, it makes me feel like i fit some bizarre fetish profile he has locked up in his twisted little mechanical head she asked him out, and he was just so 'desperate for human contact' (apparently i don't qualify as a human worth contacting) that he felt he had to ditch me for her on two occasions first occasion i scared her off by being intimidatingly charismatic and stealing the bastard back while she whimpered away second occasion i was perfectly willing for her to deal with the idiot but he just had to push it and critiscize me for not being happy about it so you'd think i'd be pretty upset about all of this and frankly i caved a little, but after i wiped away the tear, for i cried a single one (not really my face was swollen and sticky from the mini typhoon my eyeballs were pouring forth) after i sobbed and felt sorry for myself, i pulled on my painting jeans that hug my hips with unconditional tenderness, i met my best friend, i fell into her arms and we cried over cancer and beauty and all the shit only people with uteruses tear up about we went to a cozy little bar and met up the people we love--an adorable girl who cant hold her liquor, a bisexual red haired sweetheart, her boyfriend the humble english rocker and my ex who is made of chocolate and got me kundera books! it was hair the musical on meth we drank vodka, tequila and beer, we were obnoxious, loud, horny and the world swirled around us leaving golden sparkly trails and i was officially the craziest drunk of the night-- i hadn't ever held that title before so i'm proud to say i succeeded in entertaining an elderly european couple who smiled at us while i rambled on and on about politics and how the white man needs to die (of course while madly brandishing a beer bottle in the air) my friends were physically covering my mouth while the couple laughed the man blew me a kiss and i blew one back and his wife laughed and said the fucking europeans are leaving now with a smile while i smiled back and said that it's not their fault their people have oppressed us, i said they were lovely (i love when old people say fuck) after they left a french guy asked me what was going on and i screamed that i was tired of being treated like a second class citizen in my own country, he raised his bottle to me and told me i was right i told him he was pretty and he waved his wedding ring apologetically saying he'd married an american, he said his name was julien and he told me i was beautiful and i knew it, and that i should find a man because i can have anyone i want (at that point my heart exploded and i think i called him 3asal and told him to make love to his lucky wife) then i cried and my ex held my hand and i told him that even though things went wrong, he had made me happy once--truly happy--and he cried and i slept on his shoulder then i cried on my best friends shoulder and told her i was sorry for being a shitty girlfriend and being this wimpy little boyfriend whipped stepford wife then we kissed, and kissed some more, and my bi friend said she wanted more action and the two guys at the table were stunned with horny joy so a couple of beers later i proceeded to kiss my adorable bi friend while her boyfriend excused himself to the bathroom, where he remained for a long time (ahem) adorable girl who cant hold her liquor passed out beside me so i moved over beside my ex to smoke away from her and i could feel him inching towards me and i could feel the heat of his face when he was talking to me so i just leaned in and kissed him, and being the chocolatey gentleman he is, he told me (despite my protests that i was a single woman) that he'd never take advantage of a vulnerable woman and i smiled and he held me while i slept in the crook of his neck the waiters (who were the only people in the bar who were irked by us) kicked us out and we barely managed to pay the indecently large bill my chocolatey gentleman lifted my adorably unconscious friend and carried her out of the bar into a car and watched her until she sobered up (he's so prettiful) i sobered up in nothing but my bra and painting jeans in my best friends balcony while we smoked and kissed and giggled over how sexy julien was then i orgasmed while eating this sexy steamy pasta with mushroom and chicken followed by european (yes i'm a hypocrite when i'm drunk) chocolate that just left me at a loss for words (which at that point is really saying something) i had the most beautiful up and down crazy day and i was so happy by the end of it that i said with absolutely no bitterness in my heart-- baby i want you to kiss that other woman and i want you to love her and i want you to love as many people as you can because you need that (he has a lot of learning to do about love) i'm generous when i'm happy as well as sad i suppose :) |