excerpt from a letter to a young fish
---------- you know that sense of astonishment you feel when you look at those badly captured home videos of you jumping around the living room at age 6 making a complete ass of yourself in pajamas? that embarassment is both the recognition that you've changed but haven't changed enough i hate people telling me to be myself i hate it it's hard owning your past, embracing your future and being in the now--all at once all the freakin time i will not be myself--there's no such thing. there's an acceptable age and an appropriate place to be sincere-- not out there. out there i will simply convey that i'm comfortable with my head, which i am. that's all they really want to know anyway. there are a handful of people willing to peel off layers. there are even less people who understand how sacred it is to peek inside someone, even for a little while. it's completely up to chance whether or not they sneak in and how long they stay no one feels exactly the same way about someone forever even if those people who are in love till the day they die, their love grows-- not in quantity but in nature what you feel is tied up with what you know. you learn and you feel differently. you CAN be too comfortable. even the most open of people shuts out something, somebody. |