license to do nothing, i love him so much i forgot and it's a beautiful day
and like being violated with unusual objects in ugly people�s minds as they take leave to zone out to that kinky place while resting their eyes or hands on different parts of your body I�m supposed to get a license. I have wasta. It�s embarrassing. I don�t want to be the girl with wasta. I know how to drive. I feel like I�m on a silver horse on an island decorated with pretty orange cones surrounded by an ocean of tired, sweaty, angry and yet very loud people. Despite the contradicting screams of �Left!� �Right!� and who can forget the classic, �E3delly e3delly e3delly!� my silver horse manages to dance around the pretty cones if not gracefully then passably. My heart is racing and all I want to do is get out of there. It�s over but the screaming won�t stop. I begin to sweat profusely. The examiner sounds like Charlie Brown�s teacher. I close my eyes, step on the pedal and crash into the wall. I step out of the car, trying desperately not to hyperventilate and ask Baba to go home only to realize that I have to spend more time with creepy wasta man while paper work is being done. Wasta man puts his gross old hairy hand on my waist and informs my boobs with a slimy grin that I failed. �What are you going to do?� he asks my left breast. For the first time that day I looked him squarely in the eye and said, �I�m going to fail motherfucker� Okay I didn�t say motherfucker but it was implied. I have my license. - Everyday I swim, I sleep on the grass, I�m closer to Italy, I�m closer to him and I can paint on whatever I want whenever I want. And I�m so scared it�ll go away. I forget that he's a person. Then I have moments where I remember that he's a person and not just any person, he's the person that proposed to me over a beer that composes songs on my fingers and writes me poems every other day and I feel so small I want to crawl into a hole and die. But I forget again. He knows how to keep me. I needed that. -- recipe for spoiling yourself-- beautiful balcony and sarcastic conversation i'm convinced cherry apple juice has ancient medicinal properties and i'm more than willing to be somebody's lab hamster. |