want a day at the beach in a new swimsuit wearing my purpley sunglasses sipping pina colada from a cool glass rimmed with sugar knowing that i'm going to spend the evening dancing in THE perfect black dress new clothes and make up and jewellery and much more stuff to fill the screaming cavernous void within a guilt free, sex free kiss from someone charming who wont break into pieces or alternatively break me into pieces to understand why the hell people want to talk to me about things that belong in gabriel garcia marquez novels and bunuel films to be able to keep a cross and a free pass to church for a few hours without being scared that someone will ask me questions to feel quiet somewhere loud to sing to feel energy |