a new day sitting on the beach all alone (i wonder why i have to add 'all'?) squinting at the wavy path of light to the sun i began to have the sneaking suspicion that everything's going to be just fine somehow and it's such a satisfying kind of calm that i really don't want to let go i'm not sure that the feeling's already gone and i'm pretending it's still here i've noticed i'm quick to believe things are my fault and it's the most calming thing to hear freshy say, freshy is freshy again a new kind of freshy as fresh tends to be freshys always been freshy though, things just grow old around us sometimes you just need to see someone after a workout and a shower to realize how sparkly they are on metaphorical levels it's funny how that happens. seeing can stop you from believing as easily as it can start you believing. i was worried that i'd lose my in betweens but they find me. like my ex stalker--after a couple of years you can miss a stalker as much as a coffee mug. he called me from an igloo in zurich. and my friends from the fountain area. i assumed i'd lose them because we were losing our place. but she's just as much her and we're just as much us anywhere else. and my other friend who graduated, i called him and stuttered and said things that weren't supposed to be said but always kind of understood and he AGREED. and now we'll talk--like other humans do--and it will be new and old and good that way. and stranger called :) and bladdy dear dear dear bladdy will be back for a while back there i was really scared. like crusoe during the storm. i caved like a little baby-- lala was far away, fou even further, i assumed i'd lost everyone associated with uni, i wasn't sure that blad would be here, i thought i'd lose touch with 7amdy, i fought with my new friend, my family was being icky but after the hurricane things settled quite nicely i just hope the next one isn't anytime soon because i don't think this bouncebackability thing is guaranteed :) |