i give up. someone buy me five cats and an apartment with floral wallpaper 'help me' he lies to me. he disappears. he comes back after weeks of nothing to say HELP..ME? what is it about me that makes me 'bed-worthy' and 'lovable' but not 'commitment worthy' or 'one-night-stand material'. so i'm doomed to have kinda maybe relationships with men who arent sure if they want casual sex or love? why do they want to be fixed or want to fix me i'm supposed to be thinking about jean rouche and the sigui and my film and using my right brain to draw better but they never want to get to know that is it that difficult to be interested in someone? am i a strange scopophilic freak with an overdeveloped capacity to empathize because i watched too many films? maybe i am too much to swallow. people like social filters, my coffee mug runneth over. |