mornin these are the kinds of thoughts you get in your head after you've been suicidal "no matter how much i piss off my parents this semester they'd be more upset if i were dead" it's very distracting. very little matters after you get to the point where nothing matters there's a bookfair downstairs -- in between courts sara got four books for LE 81 which is a steal i dont have money i've been spending too much lately mostly on fastfood--basically on anything regrettable and edible it's weird i was passing by the political science section and i recognized all the names i feel myself detaching i don't know if it's necessarilly bad though the way i see it-- there's this giant social scene made up of people who proudly call themselves 'functional and engaging human beings' you're in or out but most people that are in want out and most people that are out want in there are very few who are comfortable where they are if the social scene could be outlined with a giant circle -- my progress chart would show that i dip in and out quite a lot i think i have the capability but lack the endurance when it comes to dealing with people still there does seem to be quite a lot of drama in my life but my friends and i deal with it so matter of factly we've learned to laugh we cry a lot too but we're allowed to indulge ourselves a little the latest and greatest tragedy i'm slowly discovering (although i always supsected as much) is that dull-witted, annoying people tend to be incredibly successful talented people sort of die a little in the spotlight while the annoying people profit from their genius by regurgitating an imitated commercial version of whatever it was i think real genius is anonymous. |