i don't feel like it i met gehad yesterday at least i was supposed to i somehow managed to physically drag my cynical butt there but as usual i was elsewhere my eyes kept flicking back to the band people claiming to 'rock us' tonight i couldn't help thinking 'this is my competition ...' i know, i'm an awful person. i really tried to listen to her afterwards... but then i got distracted again i saw this kid, eddie, sans girlfriend and all i could think was 'hmph, of course' (dont hate me just yet) i then proceeded to question, 'what is WRONG with me?' just because a guy chooses to be out without his drop dead gorgeous woman doesnt mean he's a horrible person and that's when he 'chose' to start chatting up some chick who was playing with her hair waaay too much and the chick was decidedly NOT drop dead gorgeous. quite heavy, not that i have anything against heavy--i'm not exactly light myself but the point is: CAN THEY NEVER BE SATISFIED? maybe i'm just angry because i've been taking it out on this boy and i don't want to i don't he just keeps asking for it he's a really sweet person sometimes but mostly he's all about the booty call which of course makes me despise him and disregard any of that nice vulnerability that surfaces every once in a blue moon i'm tired, and when i'm tired my tolerance levels enter the negatives
why i shouldn't kill new boy: -he didn't hurt me
i'm not going to pretend i'm ready to entertain anyone though. i can't even entertain a really good friend that i haven't talked to properly in YEARS. four years ago we were so sure of ourselves, but we were so boring. so young and full of hot air. we're not old now. we're just older. i just want to lock myself away in my room and forget. |