yet another religious analogy ...yeees...agaaiiin i know, i know, i KNOW i've gone through intensive therapy about the whole 'black and white'/'one or the other' viewpoint thing, but this time it makes SENSE i'm either restless not both lazy people -by definition- are WELL RESTED motherfuckers (okay maybe not the Oxford English dictionary definition but its implied! connoted? DENOTED?) allow me to elaborate-- i only have nine courses left and i feel myself moving through them --but its like cheese through a grater its PAINFUL i suppose its not that different, its not like i was mentally present last semester either...but at least i was somewhere in the VICINITY of sound mind and body now its just i wonder if this'll get me closer to *him* i wonder how long till i can do this with *him* thats one of *his* favorite desserts islamically you're supposed to understand your life is temporary, you're supposed to understand that your actions are framed within the context of what will or will not make your afterlife a pleasant experience ... HE is my afterlife, this...is problematic...see granted, objecting and suspicious family/cultural barriers/fragile mental states (i'm mostly responsible for that) are no piece of cake either but ugghhh he's right THERE, in the FLESH and i'm supposed to fold my hands in my lap and wait quietly?! i realize i have to, and i will but i really, REALLY wont like it *sigh* i love him |